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Serving Students at Santa Ana College and Santiago Canyon College UNITED STATES Etiquette

Introductions

American greetings are generally quite informal and warm, reflecting friendliness and equality .
Although businesspersons shake hands in a business setting, they may not shake hands at social events.  In social situations, Americans rarely shake hands upon leaving.   A casual "Hello", "How are you?" or "Hi"are common greetings; appropriate  answers are "Fine," "Great," or "Very well, thank you."  These expressions are not inquiries about your health; they are just expressions.   "See you later" is another expression people say even if there are no plans to meet again.  When saying good-bye, Americans may say "We'll have to get together" or "Let's do lunch."  This may be simply a friendly gesture unless a time and date are specified.   Americans smile a great deal, even at strangers and enjoy seeeing their smiles returned. 

It is polite to stand while being introduced.  Elderly, ill, and physically disabled persons may remain seated.  Professional titles are used when introducing people to each other.  Handshakes are usually firm and brief; non-firm handshakes are considered a sign of weakness.  Eye contact is maintained when shaking hands.  Americans stand about two feet from each other when conversing; if someone moves closer, the American may step back; this is not a sign of disrespect. 

The standard greeting is a smile, often accompanied by a nod, wave, and/or verbal greeting such as hello or good morning.  In business situations, men and women both shake hands.  Handshakes are very firm; weak handshakes are taken as a sign of weakness.  Men usually wait for women to offer their hand before shaking.  Various hand slapping gestures and slang greetings are used by teenagers and the younger generation.

Good friends and family members usually embrace, finishing the embrace with a pat or two on the back.  In casual situations a smile and a verbal greeting is adequate.  If you see an acquaintance at a distance, waving is appropriate.

The Greeting "How are you?" is not an inquiry about your health; the best response is a short one, such as, "Fine, thanks."  The standard U.S. conversation starter is "What do you do?", meaning "What kind of work do you do, and for whom?"  This is not considered at all rude or boring.

Compliments are exchanged very often.  They are often used as conversation starters.  Until you know a person well, avoid discussing religion, money, politics, or other controversial subjects (e.g., abortion, race, or sex discrimination).  Some common topics of conversation are a person's job, travel, foods (and dieting), exercise, sports, music, movies, and books. 

Whether a colleague is a man or a woman should be ignored, except when it comes to personal questions.  Women should not be asked if they are married.  If a woman mentions that she is married, you should simply ask a few polite questions about her husband or children.

One of the newest forms of communication is also one of the most popular at work and on many U. S. campuses.  E-mail and the Internet have made it much easier and sometimes less expensive to exchange all types of information.  E-mail plays an important role in the social lives of many Americans as they send and receive messages regularly with friends and family.

Business Cards

Most business people have business cards, but these cards are not exchanged unless you want to contact the person later.  Your card will not be refused, but you may not be given one in exchange; don't be offended by this.  Your card will probably be put into a wallet, which a man may put in the back pocket of his pants; this is not meant to show disrespect.

Names 

Use of names is relatively informal in the United States.  When you meet someone for the first time, use a title and their last name until you are told to do otherwise (this may happen immediately).  When not told the last name just use the first name or the nickname.
Given names are often used if a family name is too difficult to pronounce.  Nicknames are common.  The order of most names is first name, middle name, last name.  To show respect, use a title such as Dr., Ms., Miss, Mrs., or Mr. with the last name.  When addressing a woman, use the title "Ms." unless you know that she prefers "Mrs." or "Miss."   Some women keep their maiden names after marriage. 

The letters "Jr." stand for Junior and are sometimes found after a man's surname; this indicates that he was named after his father.  The Roman numeral III, or IV indicates third or fourth generation.

Non-Verbal Communication

When sitting, Americans are casual.  Men and women may sit with legs crossed at the ankles or knees, or one ankle crossed on the knee.  However, in business situations, good posture and a professional pose is generally maintained. 

Direct eye contact is not necessary for the duration of the conversation, but moments of eye content are essential to ensure one’s sincerity, although it should not be too intense.  Some minorities look away to show respect.

Americans communicate a positive or "yes" response by nodding the head in an up and down motion and a negative or "no" response by shaking the head from side to side.

To point, use the index finger; however, it is not polite to point at a person.  To beckon someone, wave either all the fingers or just the index finger in a scooping motion with the palm facing up.  To show approval, there are two typical gestures.  One is the "O.K." sign, done by making a circle of the thumb and index finger; the other is the "thumbs up" sign, done by making a fist and pointing the thumb upward.  Extending the forefinger and index finger upwards and apart does the “V for victory” sign.  The palm may face in or out.  To wave good-bye, move your entire hand, palm facing outward.  Holding the middle finger up by itself is considered insulting and vulgar. 

To call a waiter/waitress briefly wave to get his or her attention.  To call for the check, make a writing gesture or say  "Check, please." 

People will hand things to one another and often actually toss something to a friend or colleague using only one hand.

Physical Contact

The standard distance for conversation is about two feet.  Most U.S. executives will be uncomfortable standing closer than that and may back away;  this is not a sign of disrespect.

Some Americans like to touch and others do not and may really dislike being touched.  Its best to  watch for clues on each individual preference.  They may touch one another on the arm or shoulder during conversation.  A gentle backslap is a sign of friendship. 

Members of the opposite sex may hold hands or show affection in public.  Americans are generally uncomfortable with same-sex touching, especially between males.

BUSINESS ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL QUIZ

Dining

When invited to an event, it is best to call or drop a note of confirmation of attendance; however, Americans may neglect to respond to invitations.  People will be offended if you say you will attend and then do not come, but not offended if you decline the invitation.  Americans tend to eat more quickly than people from other countries; the point is more often to eat rather than socialize and savor the meal. 

When invited to a home for dinner, it is not appropriate to be late for a dinner party as the meal is often served first.  Arrive within 5 to 15 minutes after the time on the invitation, but not before.  Call the host and apologize if delayed more than 15 minutes.  American hospitality may take the form of a formal occasion with fine china, an outdoor picnic with disposable plates, or may even be without any form of refreshment. 

It is appropriate to give the hostess a gift of flowers, a potted plant, a fruit basket, candy, wine, or a book.  Companies may have policies that discourage their employees from giving or receiving gifts.  Most government employees are not allowed to accept gifts.  Do not be offended if someone cannot accept a gift.  Cash gifts are not appropriate. 

Americans conduct business over breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Some socializing may start off the meal, but often the conversation will revolve around business.  In a business setting the person extending the invitation to a meal pays for it.  The guest of honor is often toasted and should reciprocate by giving a toast of thanks. 

It is not polite to begin eating until everyone is served and the hosts have begun.  Offer food or
drink to others before helping yourself.  Serve all women at the table first. 

Americans eat large quantities of meat such as pork, chicken, and beef.  Serving sizes in the U.S. are usually larger than overseas.  Fruits and vegetables are available year round; sweets, candy, and ice cream are also popular items.  In some cultures, it's polite to refuse two or three times if someone offers something to you.  In the U.S., when offered more food, feel free to take what you like.  Do not refuse if you want more; the host may only ask once.   It is polite to answer "Yes, please." if you want what's being offered.

Americans generally use a fork with the hand with which they write.  Knives are used for cutting and spreading.  When not used for either purpose, the knife is rested on the plate.  Fingers are commonly used for eating fast foods such as burgers, fries, pizza and tacos.   To cut food , the fork is held in the left hand, tines facing down; the knife is held in the right hand.  After cutting the food, the knife is laid down and the fork is switched to the right hand to eat the cut food.  Continental style (where the fork stays in the left hand to eat the cut food) is acceptable.  Napkins are placed on the lap shortly after you are seated and kept on your lap at all times during the meal. 

Raise your hand or index finger and make eye contact to signal a server.  It is considered impolite to rest elbows on the table. 

When dining in a restaurant, a tip of around 15% is customary.  This may be increased or decreased according to your wishes and the level of the service, however tips do form the majority of a waiter’s wage and leaving nothing is inappropriate.

Shoes

It is not customary to take shoes off when entering buildings or homes.

Gifts

Business gifts are discouraged by the law, which allows only a $25 tax deduction on gifts.

When you visit a home, it is not necessary to take a gift; however, it is always appreciated.  Appropriate gifts are flowers, a plant, or a bottle of wine.  If you wish to give flowers, have them sent ahead so as not to burden your hostess with taking care of them when you arrive.  If you stay in a U.S. home for a few days, a gift is appropriate.  You may also write a letter of thanks.

When staying in a U.S. home, you will probably be expected to help out around the house by making your bed, helping to clear the dishes after a meal, and so forth.

At Christmastime gifts are exchanged.  For your business associates, you can give gifts that are good for the office, or liquor or wine.  Most stores gift wrap at Christmas.  A good time to give a gift is when you arrive or when you leave.  The best gifts are those that come from your country.  Personal gifts such as perfume or clothing are inappropriate for women. 

Business gifts are given after you close a deal.  Unless the giver specifies a time at which the gift is to be opened (as may happen with a gift at Christmastime),  gifts are usually unwrapped immediately and shown to all assembled.  You may not receive a gift in return right away; your U.S. friend might wait a while to reciprocate.  Taking someone out for a meal or other entertainment is a common gift.

Gifts in the U.S. are wrapped just as they are in other countries.

SOCIAL GRACES QUIZ